May Goals

. . . May’s goals . . .¬†

1). NO pizza. I always give something up each month. The reason I am choosing pizza is because it’s my absolute favorite food, and I want to get it back to a status of being a “treat” now and then instead of eating it often / regularly.

2). I’d like to be down 5-8 lbs toward my goal weight by the end of the month. I only have 13 total left so I think 5-8 is a good chunk without being overwhelming.

3). Actually get the 45 miles in May done for the 45 in May swap ūüôā

4). Start and maintain a journal, which I have outlined and made a plan for last night and this morning ūüôā

. . . Well, 10 days in, and I am doing decent with my May goals . . . 

1). I have not had any pizza. ¬†This includes take out, homemade, Hot Pockets and / or Lean¬†Pockets, pizza rolls, etc. ¬†NO pizza whatsoever, and you know what? ¬†I am OKay! ¬†I noticed that after my two months sans ALL sweets, that now, I can eat a piece of candy or have a BITE of a sweet, and I am instantly satiated. ¬†I ate a small brownie this past weekend, and it was far too much. ¬†Considering I am off of soda entirely, with the exception of the Kickstart (damn those!), my habit of giving¬†something up for a month at a time is definitely helping me regulate my bad habits and improve upon what “in moderation” means to my lifestyle.

2). Well, I did not weigh myself May 1st, and so, I can only go by my last weigh in, which was on April 24th. ¬†The current number on the scale is higher than the number that was facing me on the 24th, but because I have been working out again, I attribute this “gain” to muscle weight. ¬†I was also bloated for several days, and I know I am holding water. ¬†SO, I am not overly concerned. ¬†I may weight myself this evening and go from there. ¬†If it’s one thing I have learned, it is that I can have a target number in mind, but I should base my progress on how I feel, and I am feeling fantastic!

3). I have thus far completed 19 miles for the Move It! 45 Miles in May swap. ¬†I am also participating in the Pacific Coast Highway virtual race, which is 113.2 miles. ¬†I need to up my daily distances in order to finish the latter within the month, but I am pleased with my 19 miles thus far. ¬†Unless my May mirrors April’s events, I foresee completing the 45 miles without a hitch. ¬†I am definitely pushing myself to get out there, even when it is the last thing I want to do. ¬†Fun shirts¬†and knee socks help; they keep me happy!

Running for bibliophilia

“Running for bibliophilia.” ¬†Image from my Instagram: idiosyncratic_unicorn

4). The journal . . . eh, not so much. ¬†I need to let go of my tendency to be slightly obsessive-compulsive, in regards to my penmanship and style, and just embrace the journal’s contents and love it for what it is. ¬†I had brainstormed a format that I felt will work well for me, but I have not been successful at actually executing it. ¬†I still have time to follow through, even if it’s only writing my stats down, and then, I can improve upon my process (embellishments, etc.) next month.

So far, so good.  I feel like I am finally on the upswing!

 

Aversion to April

I may be developing an aversion to the month of April, not the giraffe.  I find giraffes to be particularly delightful.  But I digress . . .

I took April 13th and 14th off from work with the intention of, for lack of better words, getting my shit together.  The getting my shit together umbrella was to include: start running again, get all the housework caught up, catch up on swap-bot swaps, return sendsomething.net mail, catch up on pen pal letters, get the grocery shopping done, etc.  So, what happened?  For the most part, I nailed it!  Thursday the 13th РEaster Sunday I achieved my Fitbit goal each day, the house looked as immaculate as it can during projects season, and I finished the perler portrait I created for my best friend.  I was also a snail mail creating machine.  And then . . . Monday happened . . .  dun dun dun (that is to be read to the tune of ominous music).

During the warmer months, I become far more active. ¬†Therefore, I sweat considerably more. ¬†So, I tried a new facial cleanser that would help combat all the wonderful side effects of sweating heavily. ¬†Well, Nicolas Cage and John Travolta have got nothing on me (this is a Face/Off reference for all of you pop culture gurus). ¬†The purifying cleanser, its accompanying renewing toner, and the repairing lotion caused a severe¬†allergic reaction; my eyes were swollen closed for several days, and it essentially burned my face off. ¬†My face is now as smooth as a brand new baby’s bum, but that is because my original face sloughed off throughout the week. ¬†I missed the entire week of work because not only was I considerably hideous in appearance, my level of discomfort was . . . well, uncomfortable. ¬†Throw in the side effects of a body pumped chock-full of Benadryl and Claritin . . . that was . . . not what I would consider a fantastic experience either. ¬†SO, despite all of my efforts to become and remain physically active and productive, it was short lived.

Today is Sunday the 23rd, and I return to work tomorrow.  I was gung-ho for today because I fully intended to get some raking done and add some miles to my ASICS.  That was until the most recent mishap . . .

Just moments ago, my parents’ boxer, Gracie, got a case of what we have lovingly dubbed “the zoomies.” ¬†Zoomies def: when a boxer runs and runs and runs, at full speed, in circles around you. ¬†It’s what Gracie does, especially during spring, and it is normally quite manageable, but today, she strayed from the circular pattern and tugged so hard on her leash that ¬†I was down before I even knew I was going down. ¬†Nothing on my body is broken, and my face was not harmed, but I do have some lovely parting prizes just for playing. ¬†On my left hand, my palm and pinky and ring fingers are . . . torn open. ¬†My left elbow, right knee, ankles, and toes are scraped and bloody. ¬†The grand prize, however, is my left leg. ¬†From knee to shin is a compilation of scrapes, skinless patches, and bloodiness. ¬†I shall be the proud owner of some bad-ass bruises in a matter of hours.

Now may be an appropriate time to begin concocting a fiblet about a roller derby ¬†match gone awry. ¬†I mean, getting these injuries from one of the gentlest, most loving dogs I have ever known is¬†just the sort of irony that quite accurately depicts what it is like to be me, but let’s be honest . . . it makes for a rather anticlimactic story. ¬†The point of this entire reminiscence with the past week and a half of my life? ¬†No matter how “together” I get myself, and no matter how hard I work toward goals, small and large alike, these sorts of things constantly creep up, or in this case, ZOOM in. ¬†So, I may not end up going running today because . . . well, OW. ¬†But I’m not discouraged. ¬†Once I picked myself up off the pavement and¬†took an inventory of all of my still fully intact bones, I laughed! ¬†I laughed and laughed and laughed . . . because this is what it is like to be me, and after 32 years, it’s better to accept that this is just the way it is and likely always will be.

Life can only knock me down, but it cannot hold me down. ¬†It is up to me to get back up. ūüôā

SO, perhaps a slow, gentle walk with my own dog is in the near future. ¬†I can still get out there, I just need to modify my original intentions. ¬†ūüôā

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Write?

So, why start a blog now? ¬†It’s a question I have been asking myself since I’m a serial blog starter. ¬†I’m fantastic with the good intentions, but I dwindle when it comes to the follow through. ¬†In order to understand how I can be successful in maintaining a blog, I have had to soul search and analyze what keeps me from doing so.

First, I get hung up on writing style, grammar, punctuation, so on and so forth. ¬†I am letting that go. ¬†I am going to write how I think, just put ME on virtual paper. ¬†I’ve reminded myself, and I undoubtedly will need to continue to remind myself, that I’m not attempting to publish a professional piece of writing; I’m merely trying to connect with others who are on the same journey that I am. ¬†I want to connect with those who are struggling with taking the first step of their journey. ¬†I want to connect with others who have stumbled along their way. ¬†I want to connect with people who have had nothing but the utmost success. ¬†I just want to connect, and so, to do so, I’m letting go of my need to be “perfect,” to write perfectly, that drive to abide by all of the literary rules. ¬†I want my blog to be a place where I can be candid, open, and just ME, not bound by any confines, even those that I have set for myself. ¬†I¬†am the one that puts myself in the box, and I know it.

Second, I always write thinking about my audience, even when I do not have one. ¬†In order to be successful in keeping this blog, I am accepting that it is perfectly acceptable to do it just for me. ¬†Write because I want to write. ¬†I have spent the majority of my life doing for others. ¬†It’s who I am. ¬†I am a giver – giver of gifts, giver of myself, whatever I can possibly muster to give to someone else, I do.

Finally, my own accountability and motivation are worth the effort. ¬†Daily, I spend the majority of my time in my own head, my own thoughts. ¬†I have come to the realization that I am not learning from my mistakes, my bad days, by letting these thoughts just roll around and bump along in my head. ¬†My fear of writing about my bad days (food fails, lack of exercise, no “fox” left to give) is that it will make the bad days ever more real. ¬†Well, the trips and stumbles are just as real, even when they are merely jostled about in my own brain, yet I am not learning from them. ¬†The missteps are important strides along the path to success, and I will no longer hide them, not even from myself. ¬†I am the very first person to tell others NOT to give up, that stumbles along the way are OKay, and that tomorrow is a new day, an opportunity to try again.

Epiphany: I do not afford myself the same kindness that I invest in others.

Goal: I will learn to be kind to myself, for I am worthy of the same kindness I bestow upon others.