I have alluded to but not provided much detail about my recent stint with driving the struggle bus. Seriously, it’s been nearly a year of . . . “meh.” Since November of 2018, I have just been unable to “get it together.” I have written zero response letters to the pile of mail I have received from pen pals, I neglected Postcrossing until about a month ago, I have been completing only one or two swaps per month via swap-bot, I’ve traded a mere handful of patches, and I have run only 450 miles since January 1st. I have so many projects that remain unfinished: the contents of a parcel I intended to mail in April remains unpackaged, a half completed quilt intended to be a house warming present is now for a home that is no longer new, so on and so forth. Even my blog has been a victim of my neglect in that I have not written about my runs, for though my training has been subpar in comparison to past years, I have still been showing up to my races. I think the only aspect of my life that has not suffered from my “meh” is my reading; my Goodreads goal for the year is 67 books, and I am currently at 54 read. I have also been less “on top of” certain tasks at work as well, but I attribute (some of) that to a bit of head butting with a superior. There was a period of time where I dreaded coming to work; I even interviewed for a position elsewhere, but I realized shortly into that meeting that the (new) position was not an ideal fit.
Over the past few weeks, I have started to feel better, more myself, and by “myself,” I mean more like the me of a year ago, before I got behind the wheel of the struggle bus and put the pedal to the metal. I have even found some inspiration to create for the sake of creating. The ATCs and postcards below are not for particular swaps and have no ulterior purpose; I just felt like . . . arting. Approximately two weeks ago, I completed my fitness objective of earning my Fitbit goal daily for 30 days. With two more races left this year, I have been longing to fall in love with running again. This is not to imply that I no longer love the sport, but I have not been as dedicated to or excited by running as I once was . . . until I’m crossing the finish line. Crossing a finish line inspires me to keep going, to keep trying until the next race, but then I do not maintain that desire . . . until the next finish line is fast(ish) approaching. (I’m not fast).
A step in the right direction toward finding the (better version of) myself has been spending time in my craft room and workspace with no guidelines and no deadlines hanging over my head or stifling my creativity. Below, for those of you who do not follow my Instagram account, are photos of some of the artist trading cards (ATCs) and postcards I have been making.
After my final runs of the 2019 “season,” I will compile the photos and thoughts I have been collecting and share them in one post. September 28th is the Dempsey Challenge 10K and October 6th is the Maine (half) Marathon. Anyone who wants to follow my progress during the latter race, as I traverse the 13-mile course, there’s an app for that! Let me know of your interest, and I will provide you with the app name and my bib number.
In summary should you have chosen to skim-read . . .
I have been sucking, and I no longer want to suck.
Note: I am well aware that the paper doll I chose for my Freud PC (postcard) is not Sigmund, but the doll looked similar enough, that I took some artistic liberties / poetic license and used it anyways.