Mistakes Are Proof That You Are Trying

I have just made my way up from the belly of the beast.  The beast being the (somewhat) abandoned basement floor of the building and its belly being the gym.  See why it’s abandoned?  However, no matter just how neglected that lower level is, it’s nowhere near as jilted as this blog.

When perusing my past posts this morning, I discovered that in May was the last time in which I wrote.  May!?  How can this possibly be!?  I’ve fallen victim to the “tomorrow” or “I’ll do it later” mentality, all the while, the passing days grew in momentum.

  • I vaguely remember writing that 2017 . . .  this is going to be the year that I make a concentrated effort to take pictures during events.
    • This has not been an entirely successful endeavor, but A for effort?  Do I get half credit?  My lack of photos is mainly due to the several events I have run alone.  However, I do have a handful of photos:
      • A before photo of my best friend, Callie, and I at the Safe Voices 5K to End Domestic Violence
      • A selfie of myself (duh) after Color Me Rad
      • A before and after photo of Callie and I at Tough Mountain.
    • Considering I have ONE before picture, ONE after picture, and ONE before AND after set of photographs, this is clearly a progression in the right direction.  If only I could hone in on and perfect the craft of consistency.  However, that is another battle.
  • When I began this blog, I pledged to lose those pesky last 10lbs., thus leaving me sitting prettily at my goal weight.
    • I still have those pesky 10 lbs. that I would like to lose.  Over the course of the past few months, I’ve been half-assing it fairly regularly.  Half credit for consistency in this scenario?
      • Though I am NOT where I planned to be all of those months ago, I am not beating myself up over my “failure” because it’s not a failure.  My lack of “success” is a mere bump in the road along what has been a long journey.
      • I am simply trying harder and recommitting myself to the following: drink more water, track calories (-1000 deficit), and stay active.
      • I am finally at a place where I do not define myself by that number featured on the scale.  Though I do indeed have a number goal, and though I am disappointed I’m not quite there yet, I measure my successes in other ways . . .
        • . . . I can now run a 5k without stopping / walking.  At one point, running .25 nonstop was an accomplishment exceeding any other.
        • . . . I’ve maintained my weight, and though I’ve experienced fluctuations, I have not gained.
        • . . . My clothes fit properly and are flattering.
        • . . . I’ve adopted habits such as using the gym for half of my lunch hour.  Remember the quip about the belly of the beast?  I’m slaying said beast.

So, why the lengthy absence from Cupcakes and Canter?  Two reasons.  1). I’ve struggled the past few months with making time.  This struggle is not only applicable to writing, but it’s something I’ve faced with just . . . ev-er-y-thing.  2). There is a part of my psyche that did not want to face my lack of triumphs; once written down, said lacks feel more real than when floating around lackadaisically in my brain.

So, what has happened between May and today’s date in August?

  • I’ve run 3 – 5k events, improving my overall time by 5 minutes.
  •  I ran in the Law Enforcement Torch Run, and even though I had to climb into what I have lovingly dubbed as the “struggle bus,” it gave me confidence in my ability to put myself out there and try new things.
    • In my defense, it was more than a 10k, the pace was a 7-8 min. mile, the shirts didn’t breathe, and it was hot. as. balls and humid.  Am I going to participate in the LETR next year?  Why, YES.  Yes, I am . . . because I know that the evidence van struggle bus will be there to pick me up if I fall, or in this case, just slow way, way down.  Furthermore, I felt relieved that no one made fun of me, nor was I the only one who needed the four-wheeled assist.
  • I completed Tough Mountain, a 4 mile obstacle course with 21 obstacles.
  • Most importantly, despite all of my self-perceived failures that are really non-failures, discouragements, and disappointments, I’ve kept trying.  I’ve never given up.
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Safe Voices 5K
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To Do: Tough Mountain
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To Done: Tough Mountain

 

 

 

May Goals

. . . May’s goals . . . 

1). NO pizza. I always give something up each month. The reason I am choosing pizza is because it’s my absolute favorite food, and I want to get it back to a status of being a “treat” now and then instead of eating it often / regularly.

2). I’d like to be down 5-8 lbs toward my goal weight by the end of the month. I only have 13 total left so I think 5-8 is a good chunk without being overwhelming.

3). Actually get the 45 miles in May done for the 45 in May swap 🙂

4). Start and maintain a journal, which I have outlined and made a plan for last night and this morning 🙂

. . . Well, 10 days in, and I am doing decent with my May goals . . . 

1). I have not had any pizza.  This includes take out, homemade, Hot Pockets and / or Lean Pockets, pizza rolls, etc.  NO pizza whatsoever, and you know what?  I am OKay!  I noticed that after my two months sans ALL sweets, that now, I can eat a piece of candy or have a BITE of a sweet, and I am instantly satiated.  I ate a small brownie this past weekend, and it was far too much.  Considering I am off of soda entirely, with the exception of the Kickstart (damn those!), my habit of giving something up for a month at a time is definitely helping me regulate my bad habits and improve upon what “in moderation” means to my lifestyle.

2). Well, I did not weigh myself May 1st, and so, I can only go by my last weigh in, which was on April 24th.  The current number on the scale is higher than the number that was facing me on the 24th, but because I have been working out again, I attribute this “gain” to muscle weight.  I was also bloated for several days, and I know I am holding water.  SO, I am not overly concerned.  I may weight myself this evening and go from there.  If it’s one thing I have learned, it is that I can have a target number in mind, but I should base my progress on how I feel, and I am feeling fantastic!

3). I have thus far completed 19 miles for the Move It! 45 Miles in May swap.  I am also participating in the Pacific Coast Highway virtual race, which is 113.2 miles.  I need to up my daily distances in order to finish the latter within the month, but I am pleased with my 19 miles thus far.  Unless my May mirrors April’s events, I foresee completing the 45 miles without a hitch.  I am definitely pushing myself to get out there, even when it is the last thing I want to do.  Fun shirts and knee socks help; they keep me happy!

Running for bibliophilia

“Running for bibliophilia.”  Image from my Instagram: idiosyncratic_unicorn

4). The journal . . . eh, not so much.  I need to let go of my tendency to be slightly obsessive-compulsive, in regards to my penmanship and style, and just embrace the journal’s contents and love it for what it is.  I had brainstormed a format that I felt will work well for me, but I have not been successful at actually executing it.  I still have time to follow through, even if it’s only writing my stats down, and then, I can improve upon my process (embellishments, etc.) next month.

So far, so good.  I feel like I am finally on the upswing!