After a four month hiatus, I think that it is about time that I dedicate some effort to my writing, my blog. I am particularly glad that approximately six months ago, I did not buy stock in the idea that 2019 is the year of me. However, if I did make that purchase and just do not remember doing so, then I am pleased that I did not take the notion too seriously because . . . Wellllllllllll . . . I. AM. FLOUNDERING! My current spirit animal is a freshly caught fish, floppin’ on the boatdeck.
Truth be told, it is comforting that flying fish exist. Flopping now shall equal soaring later, amiright!?
So, what have I been up to since March, you wonder? I have already indicated what I have been up to . . . floundering! Gosssshhhhhh, pay attention, dear reader!
Before I outline what has been troubling me, let me share with you the one task that I have been absolutely slaying since January: the tackling of my GR reading goal! I set my Goodreads goal at 67 books for 2019, mainly so I can finish and close out my Day Zero Project goal of reading 100 books. I am currently working on books 38 and 39, which means, my fellow math whizzes, I have completed 37. That translates to, “I’m 55% of the way there!” Admittedly, I have been slacking as far as writing book reviews goes; add that to my list of slackage.
- letter writing
and just added:
It should be noted that my current interpretation of slacking re: running is that I am not at the level that I once was, but my use of “slacking” in this regard is not to imply that I have not been doing it . . . as of late. (Keywords: as. of. late.). Since my NYC run in October, I did indeed stop running for several months, but I picked it back up when my first 5K of the year drew near. I do believe the date of that was April 28th. The Dash for Dogs 5k went well in that I ran the entire 5k, my only break being at the one water station. I tend not to run with my cup of water because I splash and slosh. Between April 28th and my second 5k on June 1st, I hardly ran, and I was utterly mind blown at the traction I had lost in merely a month. Desiree’s gentle reminder, “You’ll be mad at yourself!” when it looked like I was about to walk, rang true; I finished the 5k (and with several PRs, according to Strava). During the Law Enforcement Torch Run on June 5th, I was miserable. I have been dwelling on how just one year ago, I was so proud of myself after the LETR, and this year? This year, I let myself down. I allowed myself one evening to wallow, and then I worked my way through my muddled headspace. I have since gotten back to using the gym located at work, using my own (home) gym, or hitting the pavement. My heart has just not been in it, and I cannot place a finger on why (or why not), but I think I am getting closer to those answers. With that being said, when I am on the road or on the treadmill, I am happy and proud and I feel great, and I need to start clinging to those feelings, especially since I have big goals ahead! This upcoming weekend is the Dennis Sampson Memorial 5k. In July, I have the Moxie 5k, (maybe) a 4th of July 5k, and the David Payne Memorial Run. In August, I am scheduled to run the Beach to Beacon and the Eugene Cole Memorial Half Marathon. In September, I have the Dempsey Challenge on my to do. Finally, in October, I am running the Maine Half Marathon. I have also decided that I will be finding a way to run the 2020 NYC marathon (I infer “finding a way” because my entry will depend on winning a spot via the lottery OR raising at least $2,620). So, I have not lost my love for running, nor my heart; I’ve just . . . temporarily lost my way. (Pictures from Dash for Dogs, Safe Voices, and the Law Enforcement Torch Run forthcoming).
My last entry was in March. Since March, I have had copious thoughts and perspectives, but my gumption to write has been lackluster at best. Writing this entry is my attempt at locating that luster that I have lacked. I must admit, I have indeed missed sharing my blather.
I have written no more than five letters in the last year. I surmise that my lack of composing correspondence is due to my overwhelmed state when I look at my bucket of mail that awaits a response. I need to sit down, go through the bucket, and determine who I want to continue writing with and who I do not. My fear of hurting feelings or causing offense is what prevents me from completing this particular task, but I do need to widdle my list down to a manageable number, thus making the hobby enjoyable once more.
I have not been utilizing swap-bot. My desire to swap was quelled by a member who caused me some distress. However, that is neither here nor there. I know that my love for swapping will trump my hesitancy to do so, especially since I do have a reliable group of people with whom I can swap. In fact, as of today, I have four swaps that I have signed up for. Now, whether I stay in said swaps or drop them before partners are assigned . . . On the bright side, my lack of swap-botting has allowed me to re-engage with Postcrossing.
This entry is mainly about what I have not done / been doing, but I am brainstorming a follow up featuring what I have done / been doing. I will get back to being 100% Amy, one step at a time. Luckily, I took some hefty strides today. Maybe today is the day I turn it all around.
So, when I do work my way out of my slump, will I be floundering at floundering?