Goals: JDD / FISHMO

WARNING: There will be naughty words; they will be in the FISHMO portion of this entry.  Where that will end up being, I do not know, but you’ve been warned!

Beach to Beacon.  Beach to mother effing Beacon.  (That’s not where it gets naughty, BTW) . . . or should I say BTB?  Haaayyyyooooooo.  So, Beach to Beacon is kind of a big deal.  (I stole some info. from one of the utmost reliable interweb resources (Wikipedia), and it’s below should you want to read about it).

The Beach to Beacon 10K is a 10-kilometer (6.2 mi) road running event that takes place along the coastline of Cape Elizabeth, Maine. It begins at Crescent Beach State Park and ends at the Portland Head Light in Fort Williams Park.

Starting out as mainly a local event, athletes from all over the U.S. and various parts of the world now participate in the annual event, including some world-class distance runners, including Olympic Marathon Silver medalists Catherine Ndereba and Meb Keflezighi, as well as Chicago Marathon winner Robert Kipkoech Cheruiyot. It was founded by U.S. women’s marathon runner Joan Benoit Samuelson, who in 1984, won the first ever women’s Olympic marathon. 1998 was the first year that the event was held and over 3000 runners participated in the race. The event was sponsored by then People’s Heritage Bank, which changed parent companies. Now the event is formally known as the TD Bank Beach to Beacon 10k. 

Beach to Beacon now draws approximately 6,000 runners from all across the nation.  Actually, runners from all around the world travel to Maine for this race.  I could be wrong, but I am fairly certain that 2018’s event sold out in approximately 45 minutes.  45 minutes to sell 4,000ish spots!  (Cape Elizabeth residents are permitted to register the day before B2B opens for all, and some of the 6,000ish spots are saved for a lottery).  You’re lucky!  You know why you’re lucky?  Because you kinda sorta know someone who got a spot.  Yeah, ME!

So, B2B, according to their official website, is in 3 days, 15 hours, and 5 minutes at the time of this writing (13:06hrs on 07/31/2018).  I am filled with various feels . . .

First, I am proud.  I am proud because I am trying something completely and utterly out of my comfort zone.  I’ve run a 10K before but not one so official.  I have to travel to a congested, touristy area that I have never been to before, and the crowd alone will be enough to send my anxiety into overdrive.  6,000+ runners, oodles volunteers, and gaggles of spectators.  That’s a lot of people, and at about an ounce of anxiety per person, yeah, that’s quite a bit of anxiousness all bottled up inside of me.

Second, I’m nervous.  It is going to be humid as humid can be on Saturday, and I am one who struggles with heat and especially humidity.  I was (somewhat) accepting of this weather factoid until the comfort of my personal hydration system was ripped from my tightly clenched phalanges.  I have no doubt that there are water stations along the 10K, but the fact remains that one of my comforts has been taken from me and is now null and void.

Third, I’m self-doubtful.  From my perspective, I see 5,999 badass runners, and then there’s me.  This is just my self-doubt kicking in, and as we know from many, many entries back, these are thoughts I entertain before any event that I do, big or small.

Fourth, I’m (already) tired.  In order to be at one of the shuttle bus stations by 0600hrs, I need to leave my house by 0400hrs.  To leave by 0400hrs, I need to wake up between 0230 and 0300hrs.  However, this is the present-time Amy who isn’t all hopped up on the day-of excitement and adrenaline.  I know when my alarm trills bright (or lack thereof) and early on Saturday, I will wake up without much effort – I always do.

Lastly, I’m determined!  When the self-doubt creeps in, when the threat of heat stroke enters my brain, when I feel pre-tired, I simply do one thing to combat it all . . . I remember.

I remember all of the years that I felt:

  • not ready
  • not good enough
  • too slow
  • too big
  • too scared
  • too nervous
  • too anxious

Most of all, I remember how I felt last year, at this time, when I watched the news and saw all of the runners at the start line.  I remember watching the piece about the twenty-three year old runner who collapsed, due to heat stroke, right before the finish line and another runner picked him up and helped him finish.  I remember how disappointed I was in myself that I didn’t even . . . TRY.

So, despite how unprepared I feel right now, how hot, sweaty, sore, and tired I will be, I am going to try.  Doing just that puts me leaps and bounds ahead of where I was at, mentally and physically, in August of 2017.  I have already given myself permission to walk a few steps if / as I need to.  I’m not in it the win it; honestly, I never do an event with the intent to place.  I have very, very basic goals:

  • just don’t die (JDD)
  • just finish
  • think FISHMO

Ahh, the FISHMO . . .

The FISHMO state of mind:

Fuck it!  Shit happens, move on.

And as long as I simply try . . . it doesn’t get much more FISHMO than that.

. . . 3 days, 18 hours, 4 minutes.

 

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2017 Dempsey Challenge

I have just taken the time to create my Dempsey Challenge fundraising page!

“Thank you for visiting my personal fundraising page for the 2017 Dempsey Challenge! I’m participating in the Dempsey Challenge to spread hope, raise funds and awareness, and support everyone who is impacted by cancer. Please consider supporting me in my efforts by making a donation; no amount is too small to make a difference!

Every dollar of your donation directly benefits the Dempsey Center, a leader in quality of life care for individuals and families impacted by cancer. Thank you for helping me reach my goal!

In 2016, I ran my first Dempsey Challenge event (and my very first 10K!), and immediately after I crossed the finish line, I knew that I would sign up for 2017’s DC event.  I was originally inspired to run the DC after my Uncle Ron passed; he and his wife (my aunt) received so much, in the way of support and services, from the Patrick Dempsey Center for Cancer Hope and Healing.  Along the way, I dedicated distances to and sent up prayers for those who have fought / are fighting the fight.

Because of kindness, selflessness, and the generosity of people like you, I was able to raise $500.01 last year, and I would love to match or even exceed this amount in 2017.  No donation is too small; please consider donating $1.00 – $2.00 – it adds up quickly, and it goes to such a great cause.  This year, just like in 2016, I am more than happy to dedicate a portion of the run to your loved one who has been affected by cancer.

I am once again running the 10K (6.2 miles), and though the run is months away, I have already started the hard work (training) and the fundraising.  Your donation is greatly appreciated; if you are unable to donate, sharing my information / site is equally appreciated!

From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU.”

Though it is “only” May, I have already begun training for the DC 2017 (October 7th).  I completed my first DC / 10K in 77 minutes, and I want to improve upon my time.  Last year, I waited until what some would consider the last possible minute to get ready, but this year, I am more focused and dedicated than ever, not only to the 10K, but also to the shorter distances along the way.  With my first 5K less than a month away, I have been consistently hitting the pavement (or the treadmill in inclement weather).  Consistency is key!

I am posting my Dempsey Challenge info. here, in all its glory, in hopes that readers who happen to stumble upon my blog will donate a dollar or share my info.  I appreciate either (or both) very, VERY much.

 

 

New May, New Me

Well, it is the 1st of May: a new day, a new month, and new goals!

From one of my forum interactions, in one of my many swap-bot groups, Healthy Journaling . . .

“I am thrilled! I have finally started a journal. Well, by started … I mean that last night I took the time to choose one, put some washi along the edge of page #1 with a matching / complementing sticker (pink flamingos for those who dig details ;D), and I brain stormed what/how I am going to journal.

I decided that to journal should make me happy, which is why I plan to decorate and embellish each page. I decided I don’t want to sit and write, write, write, but I want it to be useful in tracking…

SO, I have decided…

-make a daily goal for myself,

-throw in a motivating quote – I have several applicable Project Life cards I can paste in for that,

-write down my activity (total miles, work outs I have done, etc.), and

-notate cals in vs. cals out (I won’t include the itemized tracking in my journal because I track everything I eat and drink meticulously in my Fitbit).

I may or may not include a short reflection to include how I feel about meeting my daily goal or how I can achieve it if I did not, etc.

The biggest obstacle for me, in regards to journaling, is that I get anxiety when it’s not perfect. If I see my penmanship as sloppy, if the washi tore and isn’t perfectly aligned, etc. It’s something I have always faced – I could get SO many more letters written and be journaling consistently if I could just learn to embrace the imperfections.

Anyways, feeling good about day #1 / page #1!! :)”

I am signed up for / involved in a lot of exercise themed and goal oriented swap-bot swaps this month.  With my first 5K being June 3rd, I am so excited to recommit myself to running and working out.  Though I am signed up for several events, there is something motivating about when that first event becomes impending rather than in the queue for a much later date!  To help me prepare, I have joined the Move It #2! 45 Miles in May swap, AND I am doing the Pacific Coast Highway virtual 5K, which is 113.2 total miles.

So, May is off to a good great start, and it is only 1100 hours!

-First, I have my new journal accompanied by a concrete plan regarding how I will utilize it and a format which will allow me to keep  it consistent and as aesthetically pleasing as it is useful.

-Though it was raining this morning, I still went for a morning walk with a colleague!

-Thus far, I am sticking to my daily goal.

I only have 13 pounds until I reach my goal weight, and I feel that it’s feasible to achieve that goal by Tough Mountain, especially if I can stay on target for a 2lb loss per week.  Tough Mountain is July 29th.  That’s nearly 3 months!  I can do this, and I am more driven than ever to do so.  I have finally turned the corner where I start to support the idea that it is OKay to put myself first by having actions that are aligned with the attitude.

It no longer matters how or why I fell off the wagon, nor does it matter how long it has taken me to get back on it.  I have given myself permission to stop dwelling on my perceived failures.  What IS important is …

I have that fire in my belly again.

 

 

Picture Perfect

Over the course of the past few years, I have become the anti-photograph type.  I am that pesky individual who covers her face with her hands when a camera is around, demands that pictures be reviewed and / or approved before the photographer even thinks about posting the candid on Facebook, Instagram, and whatever other media sharing / social platform exists, but mostly, I just avoid cameras altogether.  I think I experienced one too many shocks when looking at my own photos, that disbelief and utter disgust when faced with my own face.  “That’s me!?”

I run several 5K events, 10K events, and obstacle courses each summer and autumn, but I expend most of my energy worrying about the pictures, spending copious amounts of time avoiding the cameras, the GoPros, and the seemingly endless sea of cell phones and selfies.  I want to resolve to stop this behavior for 2017’s events.  Admittedly, I did far better during my last two events of 2016 (Color Me Rad (5K) and The Dempsey Challenge (10K)).  I am aware that there remain a plethora of pictures floating around on the event websites, but I am moving on from those, and I will no longer worry about their existence.  I am taking control by including a handful of photos I have recently uncovered.

So, from this point forward, it is my goal to be in at least one photo, taken at each event that I do.  After all, I should be proud of my participation, not hiding from the photographic evidence of it.

Radio Flyer

So, I am back on the exercise wagon!  Granted, it’s a Radio Flyer, but it’s a wagon nonetheless!  For quite an extended period of time, working out was my priority before all else.  Somehow though, I allowed life’s other tasks to creep to the top of my ever famous ‘to do’ lists.  I was still working out consistently, but life’s tasks are stealthy ninjas and eventually, they coordinated a complete and utter takeover.

What I’ve learned after several sedentary months: the first few steps of the journey are the most difficult to take, even when it’s a journey you have been on before.  I have a little over a month to prepare for the Special Olympics: Law Enforcement Torch Run; our leg is the longest.  Therefore, I have found my most immediate goal to work toward.  Tough Mountain is a mere three months away, and so, in addition to honing my cardio abilities again, I must get my other muscles in tip-top condition as well.

Tomorrow will be my first “hard” workout in at least two months!  (Not hard in difficulty but hard as in intensity).  Who am I kidding though?  It is likely going to be all-around difficult because let’s face it, I’m not the machine I was before the winter months settled in.

So, on tomorrow’s agenda:

*3-5 cumulative miles.

*Body weight exercises: squats (weighted), lunges, pull-ups (modified), push-ups (modified), Russian twists (weighted), and sit-ups (weighted).  3 sets: 1st – 20, 2nd -15, and 3rd – 10.

*Wall sits, planks. 2 cumulative minutes.

*Agility ladder drills.  At least 5 drills, 10-15 times each.

I shall name this back to business workout … Bobby.  As in, “Damnit, Bobby, I’m gonna f*** you up!”  Bonus points to whomever names the movie that this quote is from, sans Google! 🙂

 

 

 

My ‘Give A Damn’ Is Busted

Ugh, I am so very frustrated with myself as of late.  “My give a damn is busted” is not entirely accurate as I DO care; I care a great deal.  However, my motivation has been seriously lacking.  I have not been working out consistently, I have not put any new miles on my running shoes, and I have been lackadaisical, at best, with calorie counting.

With my first 5K in less than 3 months, I really need to shift my butt into gear.  I tell myself that “today is a new day,” and then I proceed to fall flat on my face.  I then tell myself that “tomorrow is a new day,” and I try my very best to not be too hard on myself.  I am still hard on myself, but the key word / phrase is “‘too’ hard on myself.”

I wanted to be at my goal weight by June 3rd, my first 5K.  Coincidence?  No.  And just the fact that I wrote ‘wanted’ . . . as in the past tense, this is an indication that I am constantly self sabotaging myself.  I want to be at my goal weight by June 3rd, and I know that with a lot of hard work, I can achieve this.

So, why do I continually strive along my path of self-sabotage?  How can I motivate myself again?  My journey has been a long one, and I have made it this far.  Why am I so hesitant to throw myself back into the lifestyle I had grown to love?  Why have I seemingly given up, yet have not truly given up?  It’s time to go from 0 to 60, and not tomorrow, not with the new week, not with the new month, but N-O-W.

A stumble is not a failure.  The only failure is quitting, giving up on oneself.

 

TO DO (Upcoming Events)

Updated: 24 March 2017

My intentions: update this entry as I sign up for additional events.  Though I have not tracked my past / completed activities, I find it worthwhile to begin doing so.  I am fairly certain that with a minuscule trace of effort, I can indeed create a corresponding TO DONE blog featuring 5Ks and 10Ks and obstacle courses that I have already #nailed.

Upcoming:

 Special Olympics: Law Enforcement Torch Run – May 2017!

Safe Voices 5K to End Domestic Violence – June 3, 2017

Color Me Rad 5K – July 15, 2017!

Tough Mountain Challenge – July 29th, 2017!

Dempsey Challenge 10K – October 7th, 2017!