But Am I For Really Real?

A fleeting thought as I sit at my desk . . .

If I update my blog while I’m working, am I technically being paid to blog?  If so, does this make me a “real” blogger?

I have the tendency to downplay every. single. thing. I do or am involved in, whether it’s professionally, athletically, or even pertaining to my hobbies.  I delineate a “real” blogger as an individual who is either paid to write or has a large following.  I consider and describe myself as an amateur blogger, which is accurate because:

noun

  1. a person who engages in a pursuit [ . . . ] on an unpaid basis.

adjective

  1. engaging or engaged in without payment; nonprofessional.

 

However, does being a dilettante in a given element make the dabbler or their participation any less “real” in comparison with those who have garnered more experience?

When I am recognized for working at the police department, I am often asked if I’m an officer, and my response is typically, “I’m just a crime analyst.”  When I have spoken fondly of a colleague who is a fellow long distance runner, I have, on more than one occasion, stated, “But Sandy’s a real runner.”

I have a habit of devaluing myself; it is a behavior that I regularly exhibit, but I have recently begun to notice just how prominent this trait is.  During an afternoon stroll with Leola, a co-worker who I have befriended over the years, I discussed with her exactly what I have drafted above.  “That’s a character flaw.  You don’t have many, but that’s one of them.  You can quote me in your blog.”

So, today marks the day that I attempt to alter the impression of myself I have left on . . . ME.  I’m a real blogger.  I’m a real runner.  I’m not just anything.  I’m real because I’m present, I’m trying, I’m doing.

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Soul searching is onerous.
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Author: Idiosyncratic Unicorn

I don't exactly dance to the beat of my own drum, but there is that pesky drumline following me around :) I am quirky and accepting of such. I am clumsy and not so accepting of such. I am compassionate, friendly, driven, motivated, organized, perhaps a bit selectively obsessive-compulsive, always shy, sometimes self-conscious, vibrant, creative, affable, a perfectionist, optimistic, probably annoyingly enthusiastic, and slightly neurotic regarding to-do lists. Hobbies: I am an avid snail mailer and pen pal extraordinaire, a runner, bibliophile, musician, crafter, and a novice blogger. My favorite things in life: CUPCAKES, running, books, and knee socks. Currently striving to be the best me I can be!

9 thoughts on “But Am I For Really Real?”

  1. I love your new behaviour. I have been blogging since 2001, and although I have in the past deleted my blog and started again after many many years, I have always thought of this part of my writing as me being a blogger. I am also a proofreader and editor, and even though I have donated my services to new writers for free, I am still a proofreader. So you are right to have this change of thought, you are a blogger and a damn good one. One of my first blogging buddies back in the early days was a lady called Jojo, she used to write ideas about books and short stories and ask everyone what they thought. Blogging was in its infancy back then, so we all joined in giving advice, being proud original bloggers, that’s what we did. Needless to say, she is now a famous author (15 books) and blogger, but she only gets paid for her books, but will always be a blogger to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so very much for taking the time to comment and give me some feedback! I think building an audience has also assisted me in building my confidence with this here blog 🙂 Your words have left me feeling uplifted! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This, this, a thousand times this. I often view myself in the same light. I’m not a “real” artist, or a “real” writer, or a “real” blogger, or…but that’s not true. None of it is, just as you’ve come to realize. If you make art, you’re an artist. If you write, you’re a writer. If you blog, you’re a blogger. If you’re fortunate enough to make money doing any of these things, you’re simply a fortunate artist/writer/blogger. Thank you for this -and the reminder that everything I do outside of work is, in fact, real.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for this! You are one who I’ve always looked up to and admired. My version of you has always been that you’re a real artist and a real writer, not to mention a real human. So, to know that you sometimes also do not see yourself the way others do, confirms to me that it’s entirely normal. But it’s just as important to me now that you know I’ve always seen you as real, and maybe I should have said so sooner (P.S. I have great vision). ❤

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  3. I love the comment: A change in behavior begins with a change in the heart.

    This is great, but I struggle with it. I promise one day I will not let myself down, but it is so hard. I do love having great support around me and motivators. I can’t wait to continue to read your blog. I love it!

    Thanks for sharing.
    Peanutsmommy7 with Swap-bot

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  4. Your post reminds me of a course I took at work, maybe 25 years ago, about becoming a better trainer/instructor. One of the things the presenter mentioned that has stayed with me until now is the fact that when we (humans in general, instructors in particular) get compliments, we tend to pooh pooh them with a comment like, “Oh, it wasn’t that hard,” or “I really didn’t have to do much,” etc. We want to be humble, but this countering of the compliment just makes us feel awkward and the other person unsatisfied. A much more graceful response to something like this is a simple, “Thank you.” That way, the complimenter is allowed the satisfaction of recognizing something well done, and we are left with an encouraging comment. The older I get, the more I appreciate humility. True humility, for me, means doing things right and doing them well, but without boasting or calling attention to oneself. This does not preclude a gracious response when someone does happen to notice, though. Oh, and by the way, you are totally and completely a real blogger!

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    1. So much agreement with you about the pooh poohing of compliments!!! I know I feel so discouraged when people reject my kind words, but I then turn around and do the same thing. There always seems to be something to work on throughout adulthood – no one told me adulting was going to be this hard … oh wait …

      Anyways, yes, yes, YES. This was such a good reminder, and I thank you for pointing it out! 🙂

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  5. I think most people devalue themselves. That’s what kind of society we are. It’s pretty sad because it would bring more positivity to our lives if we can be more confident.
    I am a Buddhist and therefore know about mindfulness and other ways “checking up” on ourselves is so important. And I think the fact that you’ve become more aware of this habit will make it much easier to change it. Even if you don’t believe it at first, you’ll soon begin to value yourself more after not falling into that trap. Sort of like a fake it till you make it kind of thing.
    Heather from Swapbot

    Like

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