Probably the biggest battle in my weight war is what I refer to as “head hunger.” I’m an emotional eater. I’m a bored eater. I’m a sad eater and angry eater, which clearly fall most appropriately under the emotional eater umbrella. I’m a PMS eater, and most of all, I am a STRESS EATER.
So, what exactly is this head hunger? Head hunger encompasses all of those times when you’re not hungry, yet you find yourself rooting around in the cupboard for a snack or you’re elbow deep in a chip bag before you even realize that you’ve opened the bag. Eventually, you realize that your body doesn’t need nor want the food you’re consuming, but something drives you to eat it despite a glimmer of rational thinking regarding your snacking. That is head hunger, and it’s insidious.
When I started: working out, becoming a runner, eating healthier, drinking more water, and sleeping for more than a handful of hours a night, my body began to change. Although the afore outlined is hard work, the most difficult task has been changing my thinking, especially in regards to this so-called head hunger.
My biggest battle today is against stress eating head hunger. I do not feel hunger, and therefore, I do not want to eat. However, I am currently experiencing a lot of stress, and this is what I mean about the HH being insidious – it’s an old habit, yet the urge to “eat my feelings” is prominent, sneaking into my psyche the moment it saw the slightest opportunity. Tomorrow may prove to be a pivotal moment in my career, my life. Unfortunately, due to the nature of my field, I cannot expand beyond that, but anyone who has worked hard for something: something BIG, something MEANINGFUL, something IMPORTANT knows the amount of stress, pressure, and self-doubt that accompanies said work. In my case, this has been a nearly year long process so I am riddled with the aforementioned (stress, pressure, and self-doubt) nearly twelve-fold.
So yeah, I’m engaged today in a battle against the SEHH. That battle alone is difficult enough, but to make the battle ever more difficult because hey, it’s Monday after all, there are approximately 100 beautiful cupcakes, slathered with vibrantly colored buttercream frosting, upstairs just screaming for consumption. The cupcakes always call the most loudly to the cupcake connoisseur! I keep reminding myself that I will feel better for working through the cravings, the head hunger, than I will feel if I succumb. In my corner: positive thinking, the will to succeed, the drive to overcome self-sabotage, and it’s still Lent.
. . . I’ve got this!