My ‘Give A Damn’ Is Busted

Ugh, I am so very frustrated with myself as of late.  “My give a damn is busted” is not entirely accurate as I DO care; I care a great deal.  However, my motivation has been seriously lacking.  I have not been working out consistently, I have not put any new miles on my running shoes, and I have been lackadaisical, at best, with calorie counting.

With my first 5K in less than 3 months, I really need to shift my butt into gear.  I tell myself that “today is a new day,” and then I proceed to fall flat on my face.  I then tell myself that “tomorrow is a new day,” and I try my very best to not be too hard on myself.  I am still hard on myself, but the key word / phrase is “‘too’ hard on myself.”

I wanted to be at my goal weight by June 3rd, my first 5K.  Coincidence?  No.  And just the fact that I wrote ‘wanted’ . . . as in the past tense, this is an indication that I am constantly self sabotaging myself.  I want to be at my goal weight by June 3rd, and I know that with a lot of hard work, I can achieve this.

So, why do I continually strive along my path of self-sabotage?  How can I motivate myself again?  My journey has been a long one, and I have made it this far.  Why am I so hesitant to throw myself back into the lifestyle I had grown to love?  Why have I seemingly given up, yet have not truly given up?  It’s time to go from 0 to 60, and not tomorrow, not with the new week, not with the new month, but N-O-W.

A stumble is not a failure.  The only failure is quitting, giving up on oneself.

 

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Author: idiosyncraticunicorn

I'm a naturally quirky Mainer with a dork side! I'm an avid snail mailer, bibliophile, musician, crafter, and runner/athlete. My favorite things in life: CUPCAKES, books, knee socks, the color pink, Kawaii, platypi, unicorns, anchors, and mermaids. When I'm not reading a book or writing, I can be found doing girly stuff like stacking wood or building rock walls; I'm versatile. Following me around, in all of my endeavors, is my dog shadow, Radin. It is rare to see me without a smile on my face. Currently striving to be the best me I can be!

2 thoughts on “My ‘Give A Damn’ Is Busted”

  1. As I read this, I couldn’t help but wonder at what point during the day do you start saying “tomorrow is a new day?”. If it’s early enough in the day, perhaps you could say “today isn’t over”, and try to force yourself to finish the day stronger then it started. This may not be realistic, it depends greatly on the timing, but just thinking out loud. 🙂

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  2. Thank you for the input!! 🙂 The “tomorrow is a new day” thinking is typically my thought process between 2000 and 2100. Before that, I typically tell myself that there is still plenty of time to turn the day around. Sometimes, I can, and sometimes, I cannot 🙂 However, I agree with your comment wholeheartedly about reminding myself that the day is not over. Although I do TRY to remind myself that it is never too late in the day to turn it around, to make it my own, there are just as many times that my attitude is, “At this point, why bother?” During the week, the self-sabotage thinking occurs much later (again, 2000-2100). It tends to hit me around 1600 on the weekends. I should probably work on my thinking full bore this weekend!

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